Man, I am really bad at writing on this but I certainly try! Sometimes you have to be in the mindset to open up your feelings. I know it's a good thing but the only time I have time is at work and it's been so crazy here lately! We had terrible hale storms last Friday which resulted in me bringing Caleb to work with me and every day this week has been pretty crazy. Jana is out til Tuesday and Kim is still out recovering from her hysterectomy. Talk about short handed and busy!
Things have been stand-still with David and I. We made an agreement to go on a date once every two weekends. We went bowling and brought dinner back to my parents house and had a decent time. Like I said, things are so very stand-still right now. He's started playing word feud again and is a bit of a cell phone junky. I've been recovering from a UTI (today was the last day of my antibiotics- woo hoo!) and I think these pills have messed with my moods a little bit. I've been trying to hold my tounge because I never know if it truly upsets me or if it's my meds. Who knows...
Last night we had quite an emotional talk- first one in a while. Of course I have a million questions going through my head periodically through the day, every day but I refrain from asking. Who wants to beat a dead horse? Trust me, I have forgiven him and her but I still have the question as to...why? Was I really that horrible? What did I do to deserve this? Then, of course I pray to God and he gets me through it. I can feel his kindness and warmth make me feel like the strongest woman in the world. Seriously, God gets me through it- it's amazing.
Anyway, the question I asked him last night was "Why did you want a divorce on January 14th and how have things changed now." Basically he said we had different priorities. It's simple, he doesn't want anymore kids and I want at least one more. Seriously, I can't live with just having an only child. It just breaks my heart. I told him that I was hoping he would change his mind. It's not his fault. He doesn't want to have kids- it's not something he can control just like I can't control the desire to have more kids. I would feel terrible for forcing him to make sacrifices to have more kids.
He pretty much told me we have different priorities. He wants to be able to do different things with his books and not be a soccer dad. I assured him that you can do both- he kinda gave me a lemon looking face when I said that. Which means, he disagreed. We talked about him not opening up to me about his dreams. Any time I talk about his book and when I give him my insights and ideas he gets extremely defensive, changes the subject and gets mad at me. That's what hurts me so bad. He has no problem writing mushy stuff with the other woman, sharing his dreams with her, telling her amazing things and it's a chore for him to do the same to me. I mean, forget sharing intimate details about his work. The vague letters he sometimes writes to me vs what he wrote to her is a joke. Of course he thanks me for making dinner and cleaning but I don't know what he really loves/likes about me. He thinks he tells me enough- but I never hear it. I would say "Oh, he's a guy they have a hard time expressing themselves". That excuse doesn't work for a guy who did that kind of expressing at the beginning of our relationship and not two months ago did it with another woman. It's all so very painful.
With all that aside, the kids issue. I cried, cried and cried. I am so thankful for Caleb not knowing exactly what's going on. He didn't know why Mommy was crying though. It's painful. My husband wants to crush my dreams and after talking last night, he still has feelings for the other woman. He wouldn't answer when I asked if he thinks about her...of course he's still fond of her. I'm really beginning to lose hope right now. I've been so positive these past couple of weeks, keeping things to myself, etc. You'll be surprised to know that we were talking very civilly. I mean no one raised their voices, we talked very calmly, rationally...it was really amazing. Towards the end of the conversation I mentioned divorce. I was very matter of fact about it. I told him if she was amazing as he says she is, perhaps they belong together. I mean seriously. If he's able to share his dreams, if she doesn't want kids, she's as interesting and unbelievable as he says she is- heck, go for it! It's better than being so BLAH around me. I deserve happiness too, not just half of a man's heart.
Basically, I just want a choice to be made. I have more love inside of me for him than he can ever imagine. I have more grace and kindness than I never knew I had before this situation. I can love him til the day he dies if he wants. But, if I'm not what he wants, I will certainly survive. I never understood these pathetic women who want their man back whose moved on to someone else. What good is it to be with a man that doesn't even love you? Seriously- how much sense does that make?
Basically it ended with me telling him that I can't compromise my need to have kids. I think we can get past the affair. I've already put that to rest for the most part, and I think with counseling and reassurance we can work through him opening up about his work- I mean I hope...it takes two to tango. But I know I'll be resentful and miserable if he tells me it's not going to happen with having more kids. And basically I told him that he needs to respect me enough to tell me if he feels more strongly for someone else and if he's absolutely not going to have any more children with me. It ended with a hug and a kiss. This morning he snuggled with me and wrapped his arms around me when he was leaving for work.
It's all I've been thinking about today. I'm just ever so confused. I don't know if he loves me, I feel like I'm not enough for him and I feel like all of this is a waste of time. I hate having my time wasted. I'm trying to let the dust settle before going back into it. I get exhausted from all the talking too. I'm supposed to volunteer for the LIFE House Animal rescue place on Friday and Saturday. Friday, I'll barely see him at all- which may be a good thing to be away from one another. Or it'll give him more room to carry on another affair- just kidding, kind of. Man how much it hurts to feel like you're losing something you've worked SO hard for.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
God came crashing through
Honestly, journaling isn't my thing. Our marriage counselor told me it would be a good idea to start getting my thoughts down and focus on them. Why would I really want to focus on these terrible thoughts? I don't know what I even wrote down in my last post. I just know the jist of what happened needed to be thrown out there and faced before I write my healing and moving on posts.
The way I handled the affair was not good. It was and still is the most painful thing to go through. How could he do such a thing? Didn't he love me? What did I do that was so bad for him to want to find something in someone else? The worst part was he didn't know. He just had more of a connection with someone else and it's not something that I particularly did. It's so hard to move on from something and create a happy life together when you don't know why that person hurt you in the first place.
We had started seeing Jim I guess for four sessions now. I absolutely love him, Dave not to much. To your utter shock Jim doesn't agree a lot with Dave's thoughts and boasts me as high to the moon. He thinks I have so much strength and grace, rubs that in David's face on top of scolding Dave in a nice way. But last Wednesday we had a break through- or I did.
We had been going on the merry-go-round of me just losing my ever loving mind. I would have battles of good vs evil. The evil voices were winning. They would tell me how I was holding David back, how he needed to move on with someone else, that I simply wasn't good enough and even sometimes the voices would tell me I needed to divorce him because I deserved better. The good voices would tell me to be patient , to love him, to look at the things i did wrong and try to fix our marriage. Between the two voices, which ones were easier to listen to and act on? The bad ones of course! It felt good to belittle him and get angry when he didn't live up to my expectations. Oh my, what a terrible path I was going down- and that path would lead to bitter town and of course- divorce.
Jim had us read this book called "The Love Dare". It was a 40 day book you would read, it would give you helpful scriptures, delightful insights, "dares" that you needed to do with your spouse, etc. Last Wednesday was day #25. It talked about forgiveness. Oh how I dreaded this day. Forgiveness? Are ya kidding me? How could I forgive him after what he did to me, how could I forgive HER? They put me through hell, how can I let it go? God cleared that right up. I decided right then and there that it takes way too much energy to continue punishing someone that wasn't any of my business to punish. The book said that you need to let things go- pray to god to help you forgive - turn it over to him and you'll feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. And boy did the good voices start being so much clearer than the evil ones.
God told me that I need to be patient. I need to tell David that I forgive him and Sylvia. The expectations I had for David were way too high. This is something that was a major break-through for me. Yes, it's not really easy, but EASIER to just turn it over to God and forgive someone but how to move on? He told me to work on myself - to be the sweet person I used to be. I had strayed from God so badly and listened to Satan who steered me in the wrong direction. I was putting way too much pressure on myself and on Dave.
On Sunday there was actually a sermon on marriage. A wonderful sermon. It talked about women falling head over heels in love with their husbands and holding them high high up.And these words still speak to me so clearly "Ladies, you are worshiping the wrong God." Amazing huh? I was worshiping the wrong God! Of course! Dave WILL let me down, he is human- but God will never let me down. That's why he's God. He's extraordinary. That right there helped me let go of the resentment and understand that he made a mistake, it happened- he IS here. He does still want to have sex with me, he is willing to work through things- it's time to work on myself - to follow the path of God.
Last Saturday we had a rough conversation. I had been so good since that Wednesday. I wrote him a letter that day, asked him for forgiveness for my short-comings , it was wonderful. It still seemed like he was so closed off after I poured out my heart and soul and still wasn't very talkitive about things. Saturday we had a decent conversation that turned into tears. I'm not even sure how it got to that point but he basically looked me in the face and said "I've talked to God too and he told me he brought her into my heart." Wow. Talk about a slap in the face. That really just broke my heart all over again. What was that even supposed to mean? Did he really just say that God wanted him to leave his wife for another woman? I mean seriously, what was it about? After a while of discussing he likes to dig his head in the sand and stop talking about things then and there. Man how irritating that is. He just reluctantly agrees and just doesn't want to discuss it any further and complains about him being over the conversation. So I pretty much stormed out and said "Okay fine, you have to dominate what conversations you want to contribute to. Fine." And left to take care of our cranky son at the time.
He came out, apologized for being difficult and it was dropped. Oh...but was it really? Yesterday- Tuesday was the day of our bi-weekly counseling session. I made sure to bring it up and man did Jim lay into him. David basically said he was confused- he thought God was telling him that he brings people into his heart. And Jim said that God would never confuse us like that- that God is for marriage and that we said a vow under God's words. Man, how did this husband of mine get so messed up? We still have yet to talk about our session last night- and I actually am reluctant. I know we need to continue communicating but it usually ends with him saying something that hurts my feelings.
God has definitely been helping me through all of this. Without faith, I wouldn't be here. There is so much good and evil in this situation screaming at me. I choose to not believe Satan's lies, to think positively and believe that we will be the happiest we have ever been. I feel so wise. I know that it's not about finding the right person but BEING the right person. I was watching The Bachelor the other night. They were talking about having the perfect relationship and how wonderful the other person is...yada yada. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but man- what a load of crap. As humans, we aren't capable of being in that kind of love forever. When you're first with your boyfriend or girlfriend you do what it takes to impress that person. You bend over backwards, cover your flaws and think that it's all going to work out because you found..."the one". Pffft.
That's what happened to Dave and I. He covered up the average joe that was disguised by Mr.Wonderful. He wrote me poems, he wrote me letters every day, he came out to my house every day because I was just so worth it, he didn't want to watch sports- I was much too wonderful to miss out on, he loved my family, he thought snuggling with me was all he ever wanted, he wanted to marry me, etc etc. Seriously, I thought Dave was the only guy who would be like that forever. What a fool I was, so young, so nieve. During dating times we would have spats- I was a kid when we got together, I had a temper- as did he. We fought over stupid crap. Man, if only I knew the kind of crap we would fight over in the future.
The beginning part of the marriage was actually really good. We did our pre-martial counseling and thought "man, what's the big deal- it's still us, right?" Getting back from the honeymoon we got back to same ol' life and thought it was funny about how people thought marriage was so hard. Really? What's so bad about it? I think what changed was when Caleb was born. Our lives were totally centered around him and I think Dave began to get more impatient and more selfish. Not to say I didn't, but I really think that's what happened. When you have your grouchy wife at home with your toddler son (when she's not at her regular full time job) it's so easy to go into the arms of a stranger that seems to much more pleasant. And with that, we're looking at the honeymoon phase of a relationship all over again...bending over backwards for one another to seem so much more attractive to one another.
I just hope and pray that he continues to love only me. My trust is going to be battered for a long time. I want him to have friends but to just not fall in love with someone else...is that too much to ask? I will continue to pray and grow strong from this experience.
The way I handled the affair was not good. It was and still is the most painful thing to go through. How could he do such a thing? Didn't he love me? What did I do that was so bad for him to want to find something in someone else? The worst part was he didn't know. He just had more of a connection with someone else and it's not something that I particularly did. It's so hard to move on from something and create a happy life together when you don't know why that person hurt you in the first place.
We had started seeing Jim I guess for four sessions now. I absolutely love him, Dave not to much. To your utter shock Jim doesn't agree a lot with Dave's thoughts and boasts me as high to the moon. He thinks I have so much strength and grace, rubs that in David's face on top of scolding Dave in a nice way. But last Wednesday we had a break through- or I did.
We had been going on the merry-go-round of me just losing my ever loving mind. I would have battles of good vs evil. The evil voices were winning. They would tell me how I was holding David back, how he needed to move on with someone else, that I simply wasn't good enough and even sometimes the voices would tell me I needed to divorce him because I deserved better. The good voices would tell me to be patient , to love him, to look at the things i did wrong and try to fix our marriage. Between the two voices, which ones were easier to listen to and act on? The bad ones of course! It felt good to belittle him and get angry when he didn't live up to my expectations. Oh my, what a terrible path I was going down- and that path would lead to bitter town and of course- divorce.
Jim had us read this book called "The Love Dare". It was a 40 day book you would read, it would give you helpful scriptures, delightful insights, "dares" that you needed to do with your spouse, etc. Last Wednesday was day #25. It talked about forgiveness. Oh how I dreaded this day. Forgiveness? Are ya kidding me? How could I forgive him after what he did to me, how could I forgive HER? They put me through hell, how can I let it go? God cleared that right up. I decided right then and there that it takes way too much energy to continue punishing someone that wasn't any of my business to punish. The book said that you need to let things go- pray to god to help you forgive - turn it over to him and you'll feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. And boy did the good voices start being so much clearer than the evil ones.
God told me that I need to be patient. I need to tell David that I forgive him and Sylvia. The expectations I had for David were way too high. This is something that was a major break-through for me. Yes, it's not really easy, but EASIER to just turn it over to God and forgive someone but how to move on? He told me to work on myself - to be the sweet person I used to be. I had strayed from God so badly and listened to Satan who steered me in the wrong direction. I was putting way too much pressure on myself and on Dave.
On Sunday there was actually a sermon on marriage. A wonderful sermon. It talked about women falling head over heels in love with their husbands and holding them high high up.And these words still speak to me so clearly "Ladies, you are worshiping the wrong God." Amazing huh? I was worshiping the wrong God! Of course! Dave WILL let me down, he is human- but God will never let me down. That's why he's God. He's extraordinary. That right there helped me let go of the resentment and understand that he made a mistake, it happened- he IS here. He does still want to have sex with me, he is willing to work through things- it's time to work on myself - to follow the path of God.
Last Saturday we had a rough conversation. I had been so good since that Wednesday. I wrote him a letter that day, asked him for forgiveness for my short-comings , it was wonderful. It still seemed like he was so closed off after I poured out my heart and soul and still wasn't very talkitive about things. Saturday we had a decent conversation that turned into tears. I'm not even sure how it got to that point but he basically looked me in the face and said "I've talked to God too and he told me he brought her into my heart." Wow. Talk about a slap in the face. That really just broke my heart all over again. What was that even supposed to mean? Did he really just say that God wanted him to leave his wife for another woman? I mean seriously, what was it about? After a while of discussing he likes to dig his head in the sand and stop talking about things then and there. Man how irritating that is. He just reluctantly agrees and just doesn't want to discuss it any further and complains about him being over the conversation. So I pretty much stormed out and said "Okay fine, you have to dominate what conversations you want to contribute to. Fine." And left to take care of our cranky son at the time.
He came out, apologized for being difficult and it was dropped. Oh...but was it really? Yesterday- Tuesday was the day of our bi-weekly counseling session. I made sure to bring it up and man did Jim lay into him. David basically said he was confused- he thought God was telling him that he brings people into his heart. And Jim said that God would never confuse us like that- that God is for marriage and that we said a vow under God's words. Man, how did this husband of mine get so messed up? We still have yet to talk about our session last night- and I actually am reluctant. I know we need to continue communicating but it usually ends with him saying something that hurts my feelings.
God has definitely been helping me through all of this. Without faith, I wouldn't be here. There is so much good and evil in this situation screaming at me. I choose to not believe Satan's lies, to think positively and believe that we will be the happiest we have ever been. I feel so wise. I know that it's not about finding the right person but BEING the right person. I was watching The Bachelor the other night. They were talking about having the perfect relationship and how wonderful the other person is...yada yada. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but man- what a load of crap. As humans, we aren't capable of being in that kind of love forever. When you're first with your boyfriend or girlfriend you do what it takes to impress that person. You bend over backwards, cover your flaws and think that it's all going to work out because you found..."the one". Pffft.
That's what happened to Dave and I. He covered up the average joe that was disguised by Mr.Wonderful. He wrote me poems, he wrote me letters every day, he came out to my house every day because I was just so worth it, he didn't want to watch sports- I was much too wonderful to miss out on, he loved my family, he thought snuggling with me was all he ever wanted, he wanted to marry me, etc etc. Seriously, I thought Dave was the only guy who would be like that forever. What a fool I was, so young, so nieve. During dating times we would have spats- I was a kid when we got together, I had a temper- as did he. We fought over stupid crap. Man, if only I knew the kind of crap we would fight over in the future.
The beginning part of the marriage was actually really good. We did our pre-martial counseling and thought "man, what's the big deal- it's still us, right?" Getting back from the honeymoon we got back to same ol' life and thought it was funny about how people thought marriage was so hard. Really? What's so bad about it? I think what changed was when Caleb was born. Our lives were totally centered around him and I think Dave began to get more impatient and more selfish. Not to say I didn't, but I really think that's what happened. When you have your grouchy wife at home with your toddler son (when she's not at her regular full time job) it's so easy to go into the arms of a stranger that seems to much more pleasant. And with that, we're looking at the honeymoon phase of a relationship all over again...bending over backwards for one another to seem so much more attractive to one another.
I just hope and pray that he continues to love only me. My trust is going to be battered for a long time. I want him to have friends but to just not fall in love with someone else...is that too much to ask? I will continue to pray and grow strong from this experience.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
My World Crashing down
Obviously, I have been bad at keeping up with this blog on Caleb's progression. Instead, this will be an affair blog- me coping with it. That's right, a lot has changed. David had an emotional affair with a co-worker and I can't believe the emotional pain I have been in. It's really been a nightmare.
We have been having problems, but really nothing terrible. It wasn't like we were miserable. Her name is Sylvia. I actually met her a time or two. We went on a double date a couple months ago and she seemed real nice- I've met her in the office when I'd bring Caleb in to see his co-workers. I never would have imagined something like this happening. Dave was cheated on by three different women so I thought he would be the last person to do such a terrible thing.
Sylvia had been dating one of Dave's friends. Nothing real serious- but they were dating. Dave would go over to Sylvia's house where Todd was and hung out- I guess to get away and chill out. Which was fine. Well, things started getting complicated. I pretty much lost my mind when he told me that he hung out with her alone while Todd had to go do something- not sure what. And there were other instances when I would walk in on him IMing her on facebook and hiding the IM when I walked into the room. Like...really? He accused me of not trusting him and all that jazz. Basically I told him I didn't want him spending time alone with her but obviously he can have friends.
Anytime after that, when I would ask about her, it was just one word answers. "Oh she's fine- things are good". Just blaten lies. On January 14, 2012 all hell broke loose. We had been going through lots of tention- I could tell things weren't right. He showed no interest in me, spent most of his time in his computer room, etc. It was bad. On the hell breaking loose day- he sat down with me and told me he no longer wanted to have anymore kids. And basically implied that if I did (which he knew I did) that I deserve to be happy with someone that could give that to me. Ouch.
Basically we decided that we would be getting a divorce. We both called our parents, mine of course wanted to come over and console me. Dave spent forever on the phone with his parents and my parents were almost at our house when he got off the phone and immediately wanted to leave. He snuck out the back door when they were coming up the front door. I was a total mess- this is something heavy enough to deal with, without having a child to also care for- but I still had to think about Caleb. Thank god he's too young to know what's going on.
It was like everything was frozen at that point.I kept thinking...what now? I only make $1400 a month- am I going to have to move back home? What about my job- I would have a long commute each day to work- what about child care? What about our house? Aren't divorces expensive? How civally are things going to go down? How embarrassing to get divorced after just 3 years being married. But mainly I just questioned...what do I do now? It was a terrible terrible feeling. That was nothing compared to what came about next.
Dad ended up going back home- Mom was helping me clean the house and take care of Caleb. Dave pretty much was being very ugly to me. I told him I didn't want to co-habit in the house and he kept telling me his name was on the deed and that he wasn't going anywhere. Yeah, it was bad. Well, I decided to do some snooping on his tablet. Yep, that's how I found out. There were love letters to her, songs, you name it. He would tell her how much he loved her, how she is the most amazing woman in his life, how he wanted to make love to her...oh it was terrible. Very powerful words. Saying my heart was broken is an understatement.
He finally came home when my mom was there and it just kept getting worse. I called him on the phone and told him I knew. Or actually, I screamed at him that I knew. He still denied it. He said "What? You know that we're still friends?". Like, really? You're not even man enough to admit it? He finally came home and I threw every shirt he owned on the floor and told him to get out- and did the "how could you"s. All he could say was "It just happened". How do writing love letters just happen? He said that he let it go too far and he was sorry. He said they connected during a difficult time. She's written a couple of books, wanted to do a playwright, has a law background that he's interested in, etc. Pretty painful stuff- especially when he always told me "After what Holly put me through, do you think I'd ever do something like that to you?". Ha, I guess the answer to that statement is, yes.
We have been having problems, but really nothing terrible. It wasn't like we were miserable. Her name is Sylvia. I actually met her a time or two. We went on a double date a couple months ago and she seemed real nice- I've met her in the office when I'd bring Caleb in to see his co-workers. I never would have imagined something like this happening. Dave was cheated on by three different women so I thought he would be the last person to do such a terrible thing.
Sylvia had been dating one of Dave's friends. Nothing real serious- but they were dating. Dave would go over to Sylvia's house where Todd was and hung out- I guess to get away and chill out. Which was fine. Well, things started getting complicated. I pretty much lost my mind when he told me that he hung out with her alone while Todd had to go do something- not sure what. And there were other instances when I would walk in on him IMing her on facebook and hiding the IM when I walked into the room. Like...really? He accused me of not trusting him and all that jazz. Basically I told him I didn't want him spending time alone with her but obviously he can have friends.
Anytime after that, when I would ask about her, it was just one word answers. "Oh she's fine- things are good". Just blaten lies. On January 14, 2012 all hell broke loose. We had been going through lots of tention- I could tell things weren't right. He showed no interest in me, spent most of his time in his computer room, etc. It was bad. On the hell breaking loose day- he sat down with me and told me he no longer wanted to have anymore kids. And basically implied that if I did (which he knew I did) that I deserve to be happy with someone that could give that to me. Ouch.
Basically we decided that we would be getting a divorce. We both called our parents, mine of course wanted to come over and console me. Dave spent forever on the phone with his parents and my parents were almost at our house when he got off the phone and immediately wanted to leave. He snuck out the back door when they were coming up the front door. I was a total mess- this is something heavy enough to deal with, without having a child to also care for- but I still had to think about Caleb. Thank god he's too young to know what's going on.
It was like everything was frozen at that point.I kept thinking...what now? I only make $1400 a month- am I going to have to move back home? What about my job- I would have a long commute each day to work- what about child care? What about our house? Aren't divorces expensive? How civally are things going to go down? How embarrassing to get divorced after just 3 years being married. But mainly I just questioned...what do I do now? It was a terrible terrible feeling. That was nothing compared to what came about next.
Dad ended up going back home- Mom was helping me clean the house and take care of Caleb. Dave pretty much was being very ugly to me. I told him I didn't want to co-habit in the house and he kept telling me his name was on the deed and that he wasn't going anywhere. Yeah, it was bad. Well, I decided to do some snooping on his tablet. Yep, that's how I found out. There were love letters to her, songs, you name it. He would tell her how much he loved her, how she is the most amazing woman in his life, how he wanted to make love to her...oh it was terrible. Very powerful words. Saying my heart was broken is an understatement.
He finally came home when my mom was there and it just kept getting worse. I called him on the phone and told him I knew. Or actually, I screamed at him that I knew. He still denied it. He said "What? You know that we're still friends?". Like, really? You're not even man enough to admit it? He finally came home and I threw every shirt he owned on the floor and told him to get out- and did the "how could you"s. All he could say was "It just happened". How do writing love letters just happen? He said that he let it go too far and he was sorry. He said they connected during a difficult time. She's written a couple of books, wanted to do a playwright, has a law background that he's interested in, etc. Pretty painful stuff- especially when he always told me "After what Holly put me through, do you think I'd ever do something like that to you?". Ha, I guess the answer to that statement is, yes.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
30 hours in a day please?
Whomever decided there should be 24 hours in a day was obviously not a parent. I can't hardly keep up with my daily chores, much less actually clean bathrooms and the house for when Suzie comes in on Friday. Caleb is having his Easter party today and I had to get stuff for that gathering at Pamela's. We each had to bring in a treat (I got some break and bake cookies) and treats for each of the kids for them to find during their "hunt" in her house. It's hard to find cheapy toys for these kids I don't know very well (but Caleb does). Goodies aren't cheap! She's already sent home a couple of little eastery crafty things- so I'm looking forward to what he brings home when I get off work today... Pamela is so crafty it's like Christmas to us with his keepsakes.
I've been slightly stressed with the Suzie business. Because we cancelled our appointment with getting Caleb's easter pics done- we are going to have my sister or mom do them with her nice camera and I realllly want chicks or ducks in the pictures with us. My dad apparently can get them at Tractor Supply, but someone needs to keep them until they are big enough to release. With it raining every friggin' day, it's stressful to try and figure out which day would be best to take pictures and not get rained on.
I'm trying really hard to be plesant and not be bitchy and not lose my marbles as we're getting ready for her arrival. It's just hard when you have a baby and try to coordinate things. Her flight gets in Louisville- which is a 45 minute drive both ways- and we need to be there by 9:45 when she gets in. Well, that means Caleb needs to get up at a certain time to eat and then make the drive over there. And she is going to go nuts when she sees him of course...and then I'll have to listen to it on the drive back...we'll have to pick up lunch...and then go to Walmart to pick up some things for her to eat since she has a sensitive stomach and can only eat certain things. And she's going to be a baby hog when we go to my parents for Easter on Sunday...and we're going to have to entertain her. I'm really trying to breathe and look at the positive side, but that's hard to do sometimes when she's around. She's mostly nice- but is a big center of attentioner. So we'll see...might not be that bad. I tend to stress over little things.
So, Caleb has gotten SO good at sitting up by himself. He's gotten really good at correcting himself when he feels like he's going to topple over. Even in the grass when Dave and I are playing a yard game- he loves to just sit there and watch us or the dog. He LOVES Lucas- it is so sweet to listen to him squel when he sees Lucas.
Two nights in a row now, the storms have woken us up in the middle of the night...with that, many people have been filing claims and work has been busy and draggy (not a good combo)- I am just ready to be off so I can continue trying to get the house in some sort of working order. I hate it when you feel like you're working your ass off on something and getting no where. C'mon 4:30 so I can rush home and see what Caleb got from his Easter party!
I've been slightly stressed with the Suzie business. Because we cancelled our appointment with getting Caleb's easter pics done- we are going to have my sister or mom do them with her nice camera and I realllly want chicks or ducks in the pictures with us. My dad apparently can get them at Tractor Supply, but someone needs to keep them until they are big enough to release. With it raining every friggin' day, it's stressful to try and figure out which day would be best to take pictures and not get rained on.
I'm trying really hard to be plesant and not be bitchy and not lose my marbles as we're getting ready for her arrival. It's just hard when you have a baby and try to coordinate things. Her flight gets in Louisville- which is a 45 minute drive both ways- and we need to be there by 9:45 when she gets in. Well, that means Caleb needs to get up at a certain time to eat and then make the drive over there. And she is going to go nuts when she sees him of course...and then I'll have to listen to it on the drive back...we'll have to pick up lunch...and then go to Walmart to pick up some things for her to eat since she has a sensitive stomach and can only eat certain things. And she's going to be a baby hog when we go to my parents for Easter on Sunday...and we're going to have to entertain her. I'm really trying to breathe and look at the positive side, but that's hard to do sometimes when she's around. She's mostly nice- but is a big center of attentioner. So we'll see...might not be that bad. I tend to stress over little things.
So, Caleb has gotten SO good at sitting up by himself. He's gotten really good at correcting himself when he feels like he's going to topple over. Even in the grass when Dave and I are playing a yard game- he loves to just sit there and watch us or the dog. He LOVES Lucas- it is so sweet to listen to him squel when he sees Lucas.
Two nights in a row now, the storms have woken us up in the middle of the night...with that, many people have been filing claims and work has been busy and draggy (not a good combo)- I am just ready to be off so I can continue trying to get the house in some sort of working order. I hate it when you feel like you're working your ass off on something and getting no where. C'mon 4:30 so I can rush home and see what Caleb got from his Easter party!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Whil-wind weekend
This weekend went by so fast I think I need another day off just to catch up on things I didn't get to do!
Friday I got to leave work early to take Caleb to his 6 month check up appointment. The pediatrician we saw was very nice, she was the one that came up to the hospital when I was having such a hard time with him being in the NICU. So I was really looking forward to seeing her again. The appointment went pretty well- Dave met us at the office- it's nice to have another set of ears when we go to the appointments and Daddy always gets the best smiles from our boy!
Caleb was in the 90th percentile with his head, weight and length. He's a BIG boy! The nurse really pissed me off when I got there. I had Pamela take his temp and then give him some tylenol so he's not in so much pain when the shots finally come. Well, apparently I shouldn't have given that information to the nurse. She gave me this really big lecture as to why I wasn't supposed to give tylenol before he came in- just in case he had a fever. I felt like saying, "Bitch, he wouldn't be here if he had a fever- don't lecture me and tell me what to do!" Instead, I just kept quiet and reminded myself to not let them know he had tylenol when he goes in for his 9 month shots.
Anyway, he did really well, is grabbing things like she wanted him to do, is rolling both ways like he should and his sleep patterns are up to par. Although, I should have asked about naps. She did mention something I did agree with, but people on my October birth board didn't much agree with. She said, he may wake up in the middle of the night, just because. She told me to not get in the habit of feeding him in the middle of the night again. She said, he's not hungry, sometimes it's teething pain, sometimes they just want to scream. She said to wait it out, and of course if they seem to be in pain or need a diaper change- that's fine, but to not create bad habits with rocking him, etc. I agree. Before Caleb started to sleep through the night he did this- he would wake up an hour before our alarm went off and basically just wanted to snuggle with us in the bed. Finally, we turned off his baby monitor and turned it back on 10 minutes later, just to see. Eventually he went back to sleep. They are very intitive creatures and we've never had a problem since. Try telling that to the birth board im apart of! They'll tear you a new asshole- take a chill pill people, he's in the 90th percentile- he's certainly not starved!
Apparently the foreskin started grow back again and she had to pull the skin back causing him to not like that very much. And of course the shots are never fun, but he actually cried for a little bit and got over it pretty quickly. Tylenol is the best. He slept on the way home and stayed alseep. It was nice outside, so I rolled down the windows and let him snooze. Of course I checked on him often but I didn't want him to wake up since we were about to head right back out anyway to Kennedy's 10th birthday party.
He was SO good. We ate a quick bite, whilst he snoozed...got the gifts together, gathered some things for him, including his float for his first POOL experience, gathered my post pregnancy fat-ass bathing suit and we were off! And let me tell you, I am GLAD we don't have to go to Lexington for work because rush hour is out of this world. We would have more accidents for sure!
The pool experience was an interesting one! He was not a big fan of it. He's used to his warm bath water and when we put him in a pool (indoor) that is a tinge on the cooler side, he did not much care for it. He was fine when he was being cuddled by momma or daddy but he was scared to death. I do want to get him in some swimming classes eventually and start getting him used to being under water. I didn't have the heart to dunk him after he freaked out from being in the water in the first place. We did keep him in there for a while and he seemed OK with it, but still wasn't thrilled. I think part of the problem was the 100s of kids splashing and yelling in the pool. That certainly didn't help. We certainly put him through a lot with his shots and then throwing him in a pool!
The birthday fun came afterwards, Casey's friend Brandi came with her kids and Caleb LOVED all her kids. He kept grabbing her son and daughter and loving on them. He just loves little people. The party last WAYYY past bedtime and we still had a 40 minute drive in the rain to drive in. We promised Mouse she could spend the night so we had to gather her and then hit the road. Her job was to keep Caleb awake on the way home and she did a very good job! We ran over to Arby's and picked up some dinner. It SUCKED driving the back roads in the rain, and being up since 5:30 and going non stop with work, the doctor, the party, the pool- I was pretty tired...
The first thing Mouse wanted to do was the watch Ghostbusters...of course we had to PAUSE it so she could help get Caleb ready for bed. She helped wash him, put his lotion on him, her and Dave read him a bed time story and he was out like a light. She wanted to finish watching her movie and she wanted to play Memory. Dave and I kept cheating while she wasn't looking because it was nearing midnight and we were tired. But we just HAD to finish the game...Next time, we'll hit the store and get Chutes and Ladders.
Around 8 Caleb started babbling, we brought him in the bed so he wouldn't wake Mouse- she got up soon after and we discovered Ren and Stimpy was on our instant qhue. I loved that show as a kid. She wanted to watch a horse cartoon show- which was a real riot. She did help feed Caleb his cereal which she had never done before- helped burp him, wanted to watch him play. She was just a joy to have around! Her and Dave went and got some over priced breakfast...
Oh, I forgot to mention- we were supposed to get some easter pics done. With Caleb and some cute bunnies...well, apparently to get a disc of 12 pictures it costed $500.00. Saturday I talked to the manager and he fed me a load of BS about how great their pictures were and all that jazz. We looked into JCPennys and they charge $50.00 for a one picture disc and they dont even have any damn bunnies! What a crock. Casey, when she had the puppies, traded a pup for a nice SLR camera and offered to take some pics at my parents house for us.
Anywho, while all that jazz was going on, Mouse watched a total of 9 episodes of her horse cartoon- While Caleb napped Dave stayed home with him and I took Mouse to Ghatti's Pizza- we ate (she friggin ate cottage cheese at a PIZZA place) and she played some arcade games and then we went back home so she could watch more horse episodes. Caleb had his lunch, played with Mouse and went down for his afternoon nap (he was napping WELL since he got his shots the day before) Dave and I actually napped a little while she watched her show.
We were supposed to meet with Casey at my parents' house and possibly see the new house they are moving into. I promised Mouse I would let her pick something out at the dollar store (she said "Noonee, I dont want you spending your money on me- I hope i'm not asking too much" SO SWEET) Pamela called while we were in there and kept yapping, I could NOT get her off the phone. We were in there for 25 minutes- Dave actually called while we were checking out. (He was out in the car with the baby). It cracked me up because on their side of the car it was nothing but fog where they had been breathing. CRACKED. ME. UP.
We got to mom and dad's house- mom watched Caleb while we went to bumfuckegypt to see Casey's house- which I really like...Im excited they now have a barn and tack room. They are renting until they get back on their feet. It is WAYYY in the boonies but it's pretty nice- sounds like they have some good ideas for the place.
Sunday, Dave's dad called- he STILL hadn't done his taxes- they were due THAT day. He had an opportunity to get them done free in Shelbyville but he didnt want to try and find the place- so he wanted Dave to do them for him. He was going to drive his piece of shit to Frankfort so Dave could do them and then have to pay us for the filing fee. Of course, he's worried about his car and if he has a tow truck he's worried about being able to get in the tow truck and then would have to call Dave to drive him back home. It's a MESS. And that's not all. The dumbass sent out a bill that wasn't supposed to go out and he cleaned out his bank account. So he had to go to one of those crazy check into cash places to get some money in his bank account so he doesn't bounce a bunch of checks.
So, in conclusion we went over there to pick up his paper work for his taxes so he can shut the fuck up about things. And he hasn't gotten his ass over to see Caleb since Christmas day. Such a loser. We went over there and Caleb freaked out when he held him. He didnt know who he was. All he did was hold him, he didnt play with him or anything. We were glad to get out of there. We headed to Walmart and Big Lots to pick up some groceries and things for Caleb's easter party, got Mickey D's and just collapsed when we got home. Dave was in a horrible mood- sometimes things with his dad really gets to him. And i hate that his dad has to be this way. He's a taker and it's all about him.
Now, we're gearing up for a busy short week. Dave's mom is flying in on Friday, we need to drop his car off to get worked on, Caleb's easter party at Pamela's is going on on Wednesday, the house is a wreck...I spent most of the afternoon after work mowing- today, it's picking up last minute party crap and doing regular house hold chores. AND it's supposed to rain most of the time Suzie is here...Ah, the life of a working mom with in-laws that live far away!
Til next time...time to go pump!
Friday I got to leave work early to take Caleb to his 6 month check up appointment. The pediatrician we saw was very nice, she was the one that came up to the hospital when I was having such a hard time with him being in the NICU. So I was really looking forward to seeing her again. The appointment went pretty well- Dave met us at the office- it's nice to have another set of ears when we go to the appointments and Daddy always gets the best smiles from our boy!
Caleb was in the 90th percentile with his head, weight and length. He's a BIG boy! The nurse really pissed me off when I got there. I had Pamela take his temp and then give him some tylenol so he's not in so much pain when the shots finally come. Well, apparently I shouldn't have given that information to the nurse. She gave me this really big lecture as to why I wasn't supposed to give tylenol before he came in- just in case he had a fever. I felt like saying, "Bitch, he wouldn't be here if he had a fever- don't lecture me and tell me what to do!" Instead, I just kept quiet and reminded myself to not let them know he had tylenol when he goes in for his 9 month shots.
Anyway, he did really well, is grabbing things like she wanted him to do, is rolling both ways like he should and his sleep patterns are up to par. Although, I should have asked about naps. She did mention something I did agree with, but people on my October birth board didn't much agree with. She said, he may wake up in the middle of the night, just because. She told me to not get in the habit of feeding him in the middle of the night again. She said, he's not hungry, sometimes it's teething pain, sometimes they just want to scream. She said to wait it out, and of course if they seem to be in pain or need a diaper change- that's fine, but to not create bad habits with rocking him, etc. I agree. Before Caleb started to sleep through the night he did this- he would wake up an hour before our alarm went off and basically just wanted to snuggle with us in the bed. Finally, we turned off his baby monitor and turned it back on 10 minutes later, just to see. Eventually he went back to sleep. They are very intitive creatures and we've never had a problem since. Try telling that to the birth board im apart of! They'll tear you a new asshole- take a chill pill people, he's in the 90th percentile- he's certainly not starved!
Apparently the foreskin started grow back again and she had to pull the skin back causing him to not like that very much. And of course the shots are never fun, but he actually cried for a little bit and got over it pretty quickly. Tylenol is the best. He slept on the way home and stayed alseep. It was nice outside, so I rolled down the windows and let him snooze. Of course I checked on him often but I didn't want him to wake up since we were about to head right back out anyway to Kennedy's 10th birthday party.
He was SO good. We ate a quick bite, whilst he snoozed...got the gifts together, gathered some things for him, including his float for his first POOL experience, gathered my post pregnancy fat-ass bathing suit and we were off! And let me tell you, I am GLAD we don't have to go to Lexington for work because rush hour is out of this world. We would have more accidents for sure!
The pool experience was an interesting one! He was not a big fan of it. He's used to his warm bath water and when we put him in a pool (indoor) that is a tinge on the cooler side, he did not much care for it. He was fine when he was being cuddled by momma or daddy but he was scared to death. I do want to get him in some swimming classes eventually and start getting him used to being under water. I didn't have the heart to dunk him after he freaked out from being in the water in the first place. We did keep him in there for a while and he seemed OK with it, but still wasn't thrilled. I think part of the problem was the 100s of kids splashing and yelling in the pool. That certainly didn't help. We certainly put him through a lot with his shots and then throwing him in a pool!
The birthday fun came afterwards, Casey's friend Brandi came with her kids and Caleb LOVED all her kids. He kept grabbing her son and daughter and loving on them. He just loves little people. The party last WAYYY past bedtime and we still had a 40 minute drive in the rain to drive in. We promised Mouse she could spend the night so we had to gather her and then hit the road. Her job was to keep Caleb awake on the way home and she did a very good job! We ran over to Arby's and picked up some dinner. It SUCKED driving the back roads in the rain, and being up since 5:30 and going non stop with work, the doctor, the party, the pool- I was pretty tired...
The first thing Mouse wanted to do was the watch Ghostbusters...of course we had to PAUSE it so she could help get Caleb ready for bed. She helped wash him, put his lotion on him, her and Dave read him a bed time story and he was out like a light. She wanted to finish watching her movie and she wanted to play Memory. Dave and I kept cheating while she wasn't looking because it was nearing midnight and we were tired. But we just HAD to finish the game...Next time, we'll hit the store and get Chutes and Ladders.
Around 8 Caleb started babbling, we brought him in the bed so he wouldn't wake Mouse- she got up soon after and we discovered Ren and Stimpy was on our instant qhue. I loved that show as a kid. She wanted to watch a horse cartoon show- which was a real riot. She did help feed Caleb his cereal which she had never done before- helped burp him, wanted to watch him play. She was just a joy to have around! Her and Dave went and got some over priced breakfast...
Oh, I forgot to mention- we were supposed to get some easter pics done. With Caleb and some cute bunnies...well, apparently to get a disc of 12 pictures it costed $500.00. Saturday I talked to the manager and he fed me a load of BS about how great their pictures were and all that jazz. We looked into JCPennys and they charge $50.00 for a one picture disc and they dont even have any damn bunnies! What a crock. Casey, when she had the puppies, traded a pup for a nice SLR camera and offered to take some pics at my parents house for us.
Anywho, while all that jazz was going on, Mouse watched a total of 9 episodes of her horse cartoon- While Caleb napped Dave stayed home with him and I took Mouse to Ghatti's Pizza- we ate (she friggin ate cottage cheese at a PIZZA place) and she played some arcade games and then we went back home so she could watch more horse episodes. Caleb had his lunch, played with Mouse and went down for his afternoon nap (he was napping WELL since he got his shots the day before) Dave and I actually napped a little while she watched her show.
We were supposed to meet with Casey at my parents' house and possibly see the new house they are moving into. I promised Mouse I would let her pick something out at the dollar store (she said "Noonee, I dont want you spending your money on me- I hope i'm not asking too much" SO SWEET) Pamela called while we were in there and kept yapping, I could NOT get her off the phone. We were in there for 25 minutes- Dave actually called while we were checking out. (He was out in the car with the baby). It cracked me up because on their side of the car it was nothing but fog where they had been breathing. CRACKED. ME. UP.
We got to mom and dad's house- mom watched Caleb while we went to bumfuckegypt to see Casey's house- which I really like...Im excited they now have a barn and tack room. They are renting until they get back on their feet. It is WAYYY in the boonies but it's pretty nice- sounds like they have some good ideas for the place.
Sunday, Dave's dad called- he STILL hadn't done his taxes- they were due THAT day. He had an opportunity to get them done free in Shelbyville but he didnt want to try and find the place- so he wanted Dave to do them for him. He was going to drive his piece of shit to Frankfort so Dave could do them and then have to pay us for the filing fee. Of course, he's worried about his car and if he has a tow truck he's worried about being able to get in the tow truck and then would have to call Dave to drive him back home. It's a MESS. And that's not all. The dumbass sent out a bill that wasn't supposed to go out and he cleaned out his bank account. So he had to go to one of those crazy check into cash places to get some money in his bank account so he doesn't bounce a bunch of checks.
So, in conclusion we went over there to pick up his paper work for his taxes so he can shut the fuck up about things. And he hasn't gotten his ass over to see Caleb since Christmas day. Such a loser. We went over there and Caleb freaked out when he held him. He didnt know who he was. All he did was hold him, he didnt play with him or anything. We were glad to get out of there. We headed to Walmart and Big Lots to pick up some groceries and things for Caleb's easter party, got Mickey D's and just collapsed when we got home. Dave was in a horrible mood- sometimes things with his dad really gets to him. And i hate that his dad has to be this way. He's a taker and it's all about him.
Now, we're gearing up for a busy short week. Dave's mom is flying in on Friday, we need to drop his car off to get worked on, Caleb's easter party at Pamela's is going on on Wednesday, the house is a wreck...I spent most of the afternoon after work mowing- today, it's picking up last minute party crap and doing regular house hold chores. AND it's supposed to rain most of the time Suzie is here...Ah, the life of a working mom with in-laws that live far away!
Til next time...time to go pump!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Rainy Day
Okay, I am SICK and tired of the rain! This April has already hit the record books as the rainiest april and we're only half way through. This leads to lots and lots of mowing...
Dave and I did something last night that we hadn't done in a really long time. Not that! Get your mind out of the gutter! We went to bed before 10:00 last night. Caleb was a PILL yesterday. He slept some at Pamelas and did not want to take his nap. When Dave gets home from work, he feeds him if she hadn't fed him recently and puts him down for a nap since we moved his bed time to 8:45. Anywho, it felt good when we woke up this morning. It just sucks because we literally can't do anything...my day consists of getting up at 5:30, get him fed, ready, get myself ready for work, get off at 4:30- wait to get him up from his nap around 5:30- get dinner made while spending time with him- til we start getting him ready for bed at 7:45 and that's it. I'm ZONKED. I'm usually lucky to get to bed at 10:45- but I let everything else go and got our asses in bed...
It's almost time for me to leave work to get my little man and head to get his shots. It'll be a fun weekend: after his shots we're shooting over to lexington to celebrate Kennedy's 10th birthday. It'll be Caleb's first pool experience. Then we're bringing Madison home with us and she'll be Caleb's first over night guest. Tomorrow we're getting Easter pics done and might head to the mall to see the easter bunny...Busy but fun weekend! Let's hope he's not a terror after his shots today!
Dave and I did something last night that we hadn't done in a really long time. Not that! Get your mind out of the gutter! We went to bed before 10:00 last night. Caleb was a PILL yesterday. He slept some at Pamelas and did not want to take his nap. When Dave gets home from work, he feeds him if she hadn't fed him recently and puts him down for a nap since we moved his bed time to 8:45. Anywho, it felt good when we woke up this morning. It just sucks because we literally can't do anything...my day consists of getting up at 5:30, get him fed, ready, get myself ready for work, get off at 4:30- wait to get him up from his nap around 5:30- get dinner made while spending time with him- til we start getting him ready for bed at 7:45 and that's it. I'm ZONKED. I'm usually lucky to get to bed at 10:45- but I let everything else go and got our asses in bed...
It's almost time for me to leave work to get my little man and head to get his shots. It'll be a fun weekend: after his shots we're shooting over to lexington to celebrate Kennedy's 10th birthday. It'll be Caleb's first pool experience. Then we're bringing Madison home with us and she'll be Caleb's first over night guest. Tomorrow we're getting Easter pics done and might head to the mall to see the easter bunny...Busy but fun weekend! Let's hope he's not a terror after his shots today!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
6 months
So much has changed since my last post. I keep telling myself I need to post more often, but do I? Nooooo
Our big boy is half of a year old! It's hard to believe that he's that big already. He is going in for his 6 month doctor's appointment tomorrow and we're actually looking forward to seeing his measurements and how much he's grown. At his 4 month visit I took his temp at Pamela's and then gave him tylenol and that really did the trick. He cried a little but fell alsleep in the car on the way home and wasn't hardly fussy at all that night. That's what we plan on doing tomorrow. We are actually using the doctor that came to visit us in the hospital when I was having such a hard time with him being in the NICU
Lots of developmental milestones have been met since my last post. At 4 1/2 months old he rolled over! He pretty much mastered the rolling from stomach to back skill and he rolled from back to front the very next day he started rolling over- but he did it without us realizing it. We laid him on his jungle mat and left the room for a little while...came back and he was on his stomach! He rolled without us even seeing it! It's amazing how milestones can be reached just like that. He's been such a rolly boy since. It's funny how you can put him on his back and a minute later he's on his belly making grunting noises. Just here recently, he's started getting from a laying down position to sitting up. He's so strong and any day now will be able to sit up on his own. He can steady himself for a while without support, so I'm not sure what qualifies as sitting up on his own or not.
He took a spill the weekend he started rolling over- so to me it was a while ago. He fell out of his swing- i guess he wasn't buckled in very well and just toppled out. He wailed, but we didnt go to him right away because he had been teething that weekend and we thought that was why he was crying..WRONG. By the time we checked on him, he was over it and laying on the ground. I really wanted to talk him to the ER and Dave told me I was over reacting. I guess I was because he was fine. We researched online to see what I should watch for. I felt like such a bad mother that day... it's hard to find that fine line between not being neglectful and also not coming at every cry. Although a falling out of the swing cry vs a teething cry sound very similar!
As far as breast feeding goes, we have been trudging by. He isn't spitting up as badly anymore. I am still trying to keep dairy intake at a minimum. I haven't had a bowl of cereal in god knows how long, I do eat ice cream every once in a while and when I do I usually pay the price with spitting up. I'm not sure why all of a sudden he has decided to behave with his spitting up...the only thing I absolutely cannot give up dairy wise is cheese. He would just have to live with spitting up if I had to quit eating cheese. You don't think about it until you actually have to start cutting it out of your diet.
Eating solids have been going very well. He absolutely LOVES mac and cheese. He usually eats a whole stage 2 container and part of another one every day. He still hasn't learned when to turn away from a spoon when he's full though- he'll eat and eat from the spoon til you get tired of feeding him. We've been introducing sign langage to his vocabulary. I had to really get Pamela on board since she's around him all day while we are at work. He's been watching his "baby signing time" DVD and David gets so irritated by the songs they sing. I think persistance is key with it, even though it feels like he doesn't understand what the hell we are doing with our hand gestures. I think it'll be a good thing.
Tomorrow Caleb is going to his first birthday party. Well, we all are. Two of his cousins have birthdays in April and we are having a joint pool party for them tomorrow. Jackson turned 7 on April fools day and Kennedy turns 10 today (hard to believe!). We're going to meet a hotel tomorrow and we get to experience what Caleb's first pool experience is!It's going to be interesting because he gets his shots right before we go to Lexington for that get-together. And with taking no nap. I may be a little crazy putting everyone through that. But what can you do? You can;t just not have a life just because you have a baby- right?
So april fools day was a HOOT. I played the best trick ever on Dave. Christine here at work peed on a stick (shes pregnant) and I took it home and told Dave I might be pregnant. When he encouraged me to pee on a stick I took out Christine's positive test, showed it to him and he had a surprise of a life time. It was a good test to see how he would really react to being pregnant so soon after giving birth. He looked pretty damn nervous- happy- but nervous and actually wanted me to take a real pregnancy test to prove that it was indeed negative. Trust me, with the morning sickness i had right away, I knew when I was pregnant!
Our big boy is half of a year old! It's hard to believe that he's that big already. He is going in for his 6 month doctor's appointment tomorrow and we're actually looking forward to seeing his measurements and how much he's grown. At his 4 month visit I took his temp at Pamela's and then gave him tylenol and that really did the trick. He cried a little but fell alsleep in the car on the way home and wasn't hardly fussy at all that night. That's what we plan on doing tomorrow. We are actually using the doctor that came to visit us in the hospital when I was having such a hard time with him being in the NICU
Lots of developmental milestones have been met since my last post. At 4 1/2 months old he rolled over! He pretty much mastered the rolling from stomach to back skill and he rolled from back to front the very next day he started rolling over- but he did it without us realizing it. We laid him on his jungle mat and left the room for a little while...came back and he was on his stomach! He rolled without us even seeing it! It's amazing how milestones can be reached just like that. He's been such a rolly boy since. It's funny how you can put him on his back and a minute later he's on his belly making grunting noises. Just here recently, he's started getting from a laying down position to sitting up. He's so strong and any day now will be able to sit up on his own. He can steady himself for a while without support, so I'm not sure what qualifies as sitting up on his own or not.
He took a spill the weekend he started rolling over- so to me it was a while ago. He fell out of his swing- i guess he wasn't buckled in very well and just toppled out. He wailed, but we didnt go to him right away because he had been teething that weekend and we thought that was why he was crying..WRONG. By the time we checked on him, he was over it and laying on the ground. I really wanted to talk him to the ER and Dave told me I was over reacting. I guess I was because he was fine. We researched online to see what I should watch for. I felt like such a bad mother that day... it's hard to find that fine line between not being neglectful and also not coming at every cry. Although a falling out of the swing cry vs a teething cry sound very similar!
As far as breast feeding goes, we have been trudging by. He isn't spitting up as badly anymore. I am still trying to keep dairy intake at a minimum. I haven't had a bowl of cereal in god knows how long, I do eat ice cream every once in a while and when I do I usually pay the price with spitting up. I'm not sure why all of a sudden he has decided to behave with his spitting up...the only thing I absolutely cannot give up dairy wise is cheese. He would just have to live with spitting up if I had to quit eating cheese. You don't think about it until you actually have to start cutting it out of your diet.
Eating solids have been going very well. He absolutely LOVES mac and cheese. He usually eats a whole stage 2 container and part of another one every day. He still hasn't learned when to turn away from a spoon when he's full though- he'll eat and eat from the spoon til you get tired of feeding him. We've been introducing sign langage to his vocabulary. I had to really get Pamela on board since she's around him all day while we are at work. He's been watching his "baby signing time" DVD and David gets so irritated by the songs they sing. I think persistance is key with it, even though it feels like he doesn't understand what the hell we are doing with our hand gestures. I think it'll be a good thing.
Tomorrow Caleb is going to his first birthday party. Well, we all are. Two of his cousins have birthdays in April and we are having a joint pool party for them tomorrow. Jackson turned 7 on April fools day and Kennedy turns 10 today (hard to believe!). We're going to meet a hotel tomorrow and we get to experience what Caleb's first pool experience is!It's going to be interesting because he gets his shots right before we go to Lexington for that get-together. And with taking no nap. I may be a little crazy putting everyone through that. But what can you do? You can;t just not have a life just because you have a baby- right?
So april fools day was a HOOT. I played the best trick ever on Dave. Christine here at work peed on a stick (shes pregnant) and I took it home and told Dave I might be pregnant. When he encouraged me to pee on a stick I took out Christine's positive test, showed it to him and he had a surprise of a life time. It was a good test to see how he would really react to being pregnant so soon after giving birth. He looked pretty damn nervous- happy- but nervous and actually wanted me to take a real pregnancy test to prove that it was indeed negative. Trust me, with the morning sickness i had right away, I knew when I was pregnant!
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