Obviously, I have been bad at keeping up with this blog on Caleb's progression. Instead, this will be an affair blog- me coping with it. That's right, a lot has changed. David had an emotional affair with a co-worker and I can't believe the emotional pain I have been in. It's really been a nightmare.
We have been having problems, but really nothing terrible. It wasn't like we were miserable. Her name is Sylvia. I actually met her a time or two. We went on a double date a couple months ago and she seemed real nice- I've met her in the office when I'd bring Caleb in to see his co-workers. I never would have imagined something like this happening. Dave was cheated on by three different women so I thought he would be the last person to do such a terrible thing.
Sylvia had been dating one of Dave's friends. Nothing real serious- but they were dating. Dave would go over to Sylvia's house where Todd was and hung out- I guess to get away and chill out. Which was fine. Well, things started getting complicated. I pretty much lost my mind when he told me that he hung out with her alone while Todd had to go do something- not sure what. And there were other instances when I would walk in on him IMing her on facebook and hiding the IM when I walked into the room. Like...really? He accused me of not trusting him and all that jazz. Basically I told him I didn't want him spending time alone with her but obviously he can have friends.
Anytime after that, when I would ask about her, it was just one word answers. "Oh she's fine- things are good". Just blaten lies. On January 14, 2012 all hell broke loose. We had been going through lots of tention- I could tell things weren't right. He showed no interest in me, spent most of his time in his computer room, etc. It was bad. On the hell breaking loose day- he sat down with me and told me he no longer wanted to have anymore kids. And basically implied that if I did (which he knew I did) that I deserve to be happy with someone that could give that to me. Ouch.
Basically we decided that we would be getting a divorce. We both called our parents, mine of course wanted to come over and console me. Dave spent forever on the phone with his parents and my parents were almost at our house when he got off the phone and immediately wanted to leave. He snuck out the back door when they were coming up the front door. I was a total mess- this is something heavy enough to deal with, without having a child to also care for- but I still had to think about Caleb. Thank god he's too young to know what's going on.
It was like everything was frozen at that point.I kept thinking...what now? I only make $1400 a month- am I going to have to move back home? What about my job- I would have a long commute each day to work- what about child care? What about our house? Aren't divorces expensive? How civally are things going to go down? How embarrassing to get divorced after just 3 years being married. But mainly I just questioned...what do I do now? It was a terrible terrible feeling. That was nothing compared to what came about next.
Dad ended up going back home- Mom was helping me clean the house and take care of Caleb. Dave pretty much was being very ugly to me. I told him I didn't want to co-habit in the house and he kept telling me his name was on the deed and that he wasn't going anywhere. Yeah, it was bad. Well, I decided to do some snooping on his tablet. Yep, that's how I found out. There were love letters to her, songs, you name it. He would tell her how much he loved her, how she is the most amazing woman in his life, how he wanted to make love to her...oh it was terrible. Very powerful words. Saying my heart was broken is an understatement.
He finally came home when my mom was there and it just kept getting worse. I called him on the phone and told him I knew. Or actually, I screamed at him that I knew. He still denied it. He said "What? You know that we're still friends?". Like, really? You're not even man enough to admit it? He finally came home and I threw every shirt he owned on the floor and told him to get out- and did the "how could you"s. All he could say was "It just happened". How do writing love letters just happen? He said that he let it go too far and he was sorry. He said they connected during a difficult time. She's written a couple of books, wanted to do a playwright, has a law background that he's interested in, etc. Pretty painful stuff- especially when he always told me "After what Holly put me through, do you think I'd ever do something like that to you?". Ha, I guess the answer to that statement is, yes.
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